Until now, I had never been out of the country. Everything I had ever heard or seen about foreign countries or places was either on TV or in a book or a game. Every idea I had about what it would really be like was over romanticized by imagination and the mystery of the unknown. Every little bit of information I had accumulated through these sources was skewed by perception and expectation of what it would be like. Even until coming, in the back of my head was the thought that it would be like it was in the old days here… I’m sure it still is in some remote places…Somehow this place didn’t actually seem real to me until I came here. It was a dream, a fantasy, some magical place I had seen in movies and only imagined could be real.
But now I am here. Still somewhat unbelievable. It’s not so different though.
Looking up at the sky last night, I saw Orion’s Belt. Looking out my window in the morning, I see the same sky, the same trees, the same concrete streets and power lines. On the surface, things may appear different from what I am used to, but it’s not really that different at all. A house here is still a house. Sure the architecture may look different, but it serves the same purpose here as it would anywhere else.
It’s nearly disappointing. Even being thousands of miles away from what I call my home, I am confronted with the reality that this is still the same earth. These people are still just as human as anyone else. Their culture may seem completely upside-down and backwards to someone coming from the States, but culture is merely an external facet of human communities. I am still down here, still on the same earth. I still have the same needs, the same desires, the same aspirations.
Being pessimistic it could be easy to say that no place on earth is really magical at all. Anywhere you go the same old doldrums come creeping behind you, threatening fascination, discovery and excitement. Just as in the States, I still wake up every morning disappointed. Each day I wake to realize that the reality I thought was real while I slept is not real at all, and I must resume the labor of existence in this fallen place; a labor that wears you down. Day after day it wears you down. Do you know what I mean?
But, by the Grace of God, I won’t give up my hope.
Average lifespan calculations dictate that one fourth of my life is already done with. It has gone too fast for me to even realize. I’ve only got three more goes at this; and each one from here on out gets more difficult than the last. Being here is a privilege. Many people have gone out of their way to make necessary arrangements. Between financial support, paperwork, etc. so much time and effort has been spent just so I could experience this new place, these new things, these amazing people. I will not take that for granted. I may still not know why I am here, but I intend to make the most of it.
~LjD~
To You: Slow down. Take some time to think. Re-examine what you are doing here. Are you merely existing to perpetuate the cycle? Working, so you can eat and drink and have the things that will supposedly make you happy but never do? Do you ever wake up in the morning and not want to “do this all again”? I know I do. Pretty much every day. Think about how much you have. Think about how many people have helped you along the way. Would you be where you are now if you had to do everything on your own? Maybe you don’t even like where you are now. If that is the case, then change it. Dream big… Do… Do not be hindered but thinking you are unable to do something. “your fear is your cage”. Enjoy Life. Don’t get so caught up in the big picture or in the long term that you lose sight of the little things. More often than not, a small but thoughtful gesture is far more meaningful that something big. Take time to enjoy life, and do not worry. Worry never has any benefits, only detriments. “In twenty years, you'll regret more the things you didn't do than the things you did.” Wake up. Get up. And LIVE. No, you won’t do it tomorrow. Trust me. And yes, I am talking to myself here as much as anyone else.
6 comments:
Your wisdom far exceeds your years, my son. As you realize the "sameness" of life, it brings both joy and sorrow. Joy for the familiarity of life everywhere, sadness that there isn't something more. Yet, you've already realized the source of joy in life is not found in the people, culture, or lands of our earth, but in God who created them when you said: "But, by the Grace of God, I won’t give up my hope".
Your comments remind me of Solomon, who was probably the wisest person ever to walk our earth. After trying to experience ALL that life could offer, he came to a similar conclusion. To summarize, he said life is precious and beautiful, but someday it will all end. The only thing that really matters (no matter WHERE we are or WHAT we do), is to respect and love God (who made all of this), and understand that TRUE and complete joy will only be found in our future inheritance in Paradise! It is there that we will finally experience the fullness of all creation.
So for today, enjoy life. Enjoy all that is, for what it is. And... never, NEVER, NEVER lose that hope (and joy) in what is to come!
and slow down on the sake.
but for reals though... find joy in the sameness. dont you think its rad that you can go half way round the planet and still connect? sharing life with someone on the other side of the world isnt possible without the underlying universal human identity, connecting us all. i think it shows wisdom that you recognize your mortality. most kids your age dont. with a limited number of days on this planet, we are damn near obligated to use them well. live hard, burn bright, and change the world, one human connection at a time. and dont worry, catchin lizards is time spent well. you should know that my life is better with you in it. and trust me, i know how much it sucks to wake up sometimes, but think of all the people who could use some lukey. spread the lumps, little man. spread the lumps. and above all, always remember, if you dont like the monotony of the world, you cant complain, unless you are doing something to change it.
I am reminded of a conversation we had before you made your way to Japan. I shared with you that I believed that you had romanticized Japan and that you would no doubt learn many things about that country and your home country that would make your veiw more real, encompassing both the good and not so good. Sounds like you are doing that and learning to embrace it all.
Also......I sense in you the turning from a half empty cup to half full. Good for you!
Ha ha... that's how Europe felt the first time I was there. It was like, "On a map, I'm here, and I'm usually here." It was also kinda strange knowing the history of some of the places: "this happened here and at this time" moments would just occur... But yet, as you relate, its somehow the same.
-Colton
Excellent post. This realization came quicker than expected; I commend you on your honesty. Have fun, I look forward to talking with you when you return!
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